The stages of grief

Grief refers not only to the loss of a person who has died, but can be broader than any loss. It is a non-linear process, experienced differently by everyone. There are, however, a number of stages that can be used as a guide.

• The shock
• Disorganization
• Reorganization
• The transformation
• The cure

It’s possible not to go through all these stages and to experience them in a different order. The emotions felt may seem contradictory, but they are valid and it is important to experience them. Avoiding difficult emotions can delay the integration of grief. They may even resurface later in life, when you are exposed to an experience that echoes this one. Grief is not a linear process.

How to get through?

Healing takes time, and each person has his or her own pace. There are many resources available, but it’s up to the bereaved person to decide which tool will work best for them.

Here are a few ideas for dealing with the emotions of bereavement:

• Identify your emotions on a sheet of paper and hatch the most difficult ones. Then write down the desired emotions at the end of the healing process;
• Write the story of your bereavement, or spontaneously record your thoughts and reflections in a journal;
• Using art to experience and express emotions;
• Take care of yourself (go out in nature, take a bath, see friends, etc.);
• Saying goodbye in your own way.

Although the petals of hope can sometimes be disrupted by headwinds, new seeds of love and resilience could be sown, enabling parents to cultivate beauty in their garden. So, even if some petals have blown away, they are not forgotten, and the garden story continues with the promise of new blooms.

Our counsellors are trained to intervene in the context of perinatal bereavement, and can share with you tools that can support you in your process. If you would like to receive support from our team, you can contact our counsellors at any time.