What choice do I have when faced with an unplanned pregnancy?
Dealing with an unplanned pregnancy or a difficult situation during pregnancy can cause you to experience all kinds of emotions. You will have to make decisions that could affect the rest of your life. Your plans, values, and dreams may be turned upside down. It is therefore normal to question yourself.
CHOICE
Clarity
For some people, the choice is clear from the onset. They know clearly what they are ready to experience as well as their limits. Moreover, they often feel ready to take on the responsibility of their choice, no matter what it is.
Ambivalence
At times, ambivalence comes from the person, but sometimes it is based on the reaction (real or anticipated) of their loved ones.
Pressure
At times, people around them have projects or dreams for the person, and they think they know what would be best for them. Regardless of the pressures or opinions of others, they are not the ones who will have to live with the pros and cons; it’s the person who will have to live with his or her choice.
It is important for her to prioritize what she feels rather than what others think. This isn’t always easy because there is often a fear of disappointing others, of being rejected by those around us, and so on.
Your choice is clear, what comes next?
To help you in your choice
A good way of clarifying your choice is by writing down the advantages and disadvantages that you see for each option. It’s important to do this exercise alone so as not to be influenced and to avoid censoring yourself. Often, the choice becomes clear right away. If this is not so, you can put aside your sheets and pick them up a few days later. You can add new elements, highlight what is essential for you, or remove what is no longer relevant to you.
It may be a good idea to give yourself a period of time before making a final choice. This helps relieve some of the pressure. Trust yourself!
Are you in a relationship?
If you’re in a relationship (a couple), you can individually go through the advantages and disadvantages exercise and then share your thoughts on what you want and what you are ready to experience together or separately. Your choices and expectations may not be the same, which can lead to different emotions and reactions. Each partner must show respect and be as clear as possible with the other.
It’s not always possible to reach a consensus. The final decision belongs to the pregnant person.
Continue the pregnancy
If your choice was difficult to make or if you had a hard time dealing with your decision regarding the pregnancy…
Here are a few guidelines to help you:
- Once your decision is made, take time to rest and listen to yourself in what you are experiencing, without judgment.
- You can take time to write yourself a letter. To learn more about this, check out our blog.
- Remember that you made the decision that was best for you at that time in your life, taking into consideration your situation and your values.
- Find someone with whom you can share your feelings without feeling judged.
- You can download our Reflection Guide.
- If you need help and you want to speak to someone neutral, you can call us or come meet us. We will be pleased to help you, and we will do so with the utmost respect.
- Trust yourself!
Abortion
In Quebec, abortions are performed at the Clinique de Planning in Sherbrooke, Health and Social Services Centers (CSSS), as well as some private clinics.
Starting at age 14, you can decide on your own to have an abortion. You do not need permission from a parent or legal guardian.
The delay: In the Eastern Townships, abortions are done at the Clinique de Planning in Sherbrooke, up to 23 weeks of pregnancy. In other regions of Quebec, the number of weeks of pregnancy to have recourse to an abortion may be less. To reach a clinic, contact us, and we will refer you.
In Quebec, the abortion pill (RU-486) has been available to terminate a pregnancy since December 2017. It is available for up to 9-10 weeks of pregnancy, depending on the region.
The cost: If you have a health insurance card (carte d’assurance maladie du Québec), you can access abortion freely. There are also possibilities to make arrangements for women who are not admissible to the Quebec Health Insurance Plan (Régime de l’assurance maladie du Québec). Some private insurances can cover abortion costs.
The number of appointments: Vary according to the number of weeks of pregnancy and the region.
If your choice was difficult to make or if you had a hard time dealing with your decision regarding the pregnancy…
Here are a few guidelines to help you:
- Once your decision is made, take time to rest and listen to yourself in what you are experiencing, without judgment.
- You can take time to write yourself a letter. To learn more about this, check out our blog.
- Remember that you made the decision that was best for you at that time in your life, taking into consideration your situation and your values.
- Find someone with whom you can share your feelings without feeling judged.
- You can download our Reflection Guide.
- If you need help and you want to speak to someone neutral, you can call us or come meet us. We will be pleased to help you, and we will do so with the utmost respect.
- Trust yourself!
Adoption
Once your choice is clear, you must contact the Director of Youth Protection (Directeur de la protection de la jeunesse (DPJ)). The parent who gave consent can retract it within 30 days following the birth. After this period, the parent must address the Court if they change their mind.
If your choice was difficult to make or if you had a hard time dealing with your decision regarding the pregnancy…
Here are a few guidelines to help you:
- Once your decision is made, take time to rest and listen to yourself in what you are experiencing, without judgment.
- You can take time to write yourself a letter. To learn more about this, check out our blog.
- Remember that you made the decision that was best for you at that time in your life, taking into consideration your situation and your values.
- Find someone with whom you can share your feelings without feeling judged.
- You can download our Reflection Guide.
- If you need help and you want to speak to someone neutral, you can call us or come meet us. We will be pleased to help you, and we will do so with the utmost respect.
- Trust yourself!
