Helping someone close to you

Here are a few points to consider that could assist you in respectfully listening to and supporting someone you care about, while honoring their life experiences and their choices.

Helping and listening to someone means…

• Welcoming the other person with respect in their suffering and emotions, giving them the chance to experience what they are going through without constraint or judgment.
• Engaging in silent listening by creating non-verbal contact (eye contact, smiling, posture, etc.) Through silence, emotions, important matters, fears, and deeper feelings can emerge. Moreover, it is important to show the person our acceptance and interest.
• Making your presence known from time to time with short expressions. For example: “Mm” “hum,“ or “I see.”
• Intervening simply by asking open-ended questions that will lead the person to think more about what they are going through. For example, “What do you think about this?” “How do you see this?” “How do you feel about all of this?”
• Summarizing in your own words what the person said to make sure you understood well. This will help you stay close to what the person is experiencing. For example, “What I understand is…” You seem to be saying,”
• Trying to bring out the feelings that emerge from the message the person is conveying to you and welcoming them without judgment. This way, they can make room for the emotions they truly feel deep down.
• Bringing the person back to themselves, to what they are experiencing, feeling, wanting, and their perspective, in particular when they talk about others and what they might think, etc.

The person must make a choice based on what they truly feel inside and must take responsibility for their own choices. Often, they have the answer or solution to their problem and simply need to be heard or acknowledged in their choice.

Ultimately, listening to and helping someone means accepting their differences without trying to change or influence them.

Good listening!