I’m overcome by a feeling of fear. An ancestral fear, experienced and passed down by generations of women. The fear of losing: losing my dignity and my freedom.

By Émilie Dugré, member of S.O.S. Grossesse Estrie and research professional at Université de Sherbrooke

I’m a woman, and I’m scared. Not only for me, but also for those who are and those who will be. For all women and young women.

I’ve read Beauvoir, Ernaux, Huston and Arcan. And many more besides. I thought the battles had been won, the enemy vanquished, at least in part. Freedom to enjoy our bodies, in their entirety and with dignity, including the possibility of refusing unwanted maternity. No justification, no in-depth medical examination, no judgment. Maybe I’m just too naive? That’s what idealists do…

I’m a woman and I’m angry.

Hundreds of thousands of them have fought, chanted loud and clear, against all winds and tides, for an end to patriarchy, violence and the control of women’s bodies.

The end of willful blindness. These women have fought to put an end to the violence perpetrated against deep-seated intimacy, buried in the heart of women’s bodies, sacred but all too often scorned. Let’s not forget that a woman’s right to control and enjoy her own body, from which stems the right to free choice, is fundamental to an egalitarian society. This legal framework enables women to enjoy their sexuality to the exclusion of maternity, and to access the freedom of a fuller sexuality by being able to terminate an unwanted pregnancy in complete physical and emotional safety.

Because, yes, despite what some may think, since the dawn of humanity, women have controlled their fertility. Through the use of herbs, prolonged breastfeeding, a good knowledge of their menstrual cycle or other more or less risky techniques. Women have resorted to abortion and will continue to do so, whether legal or not, sometimes to the detriment of their health and their lives.

Mother and non-mother

What if we went back to our mythology? To the taboo of refusing to be a mother or a non-mother. This taboo refers back to Judeo-Christian archetypes, to our great classics: the duality between Mary and Magdalene. Mother and whore. Always the same paradox, this struggle between Mary, the mother of all mothers, and Mary Magdalene, the whore/non-mother. The latter, a lover of freedom, is a dangerous, even threatening figure for man and the survival of the species. Is it this chimera that haunts us?

Perhaps this is a simplistic explanation? I don’t claim to have the answer, but I’m afraid, and fear drives me to want to understand and explain. It’s a survival reflex. Because I’m afraid, I tell you, and I’m not alone…

In this way, I hope we can collectively take the liberty of rehabilitating the abortion experience at the very heart of women’s stories, in all their complexity, sensitivity and singularity. And this goes beyond political and ideological debates. To be, finally and always, a subject in its own right.